THANKS FOR THe MeMORIeS

Ada yang tertinggal
Setelah terbenam mentari
Ada yang tertinggal
Setelah kering air di kali

Alam telah menyakinkan
Kau mesti pergi
Kau mesti
Alam telah menyakinkan
Kau mesti kembali
Bagai yang telah dijanjikan Illahi

Ada yang tertinggal
Setelah musnah semua mimpi
Kekal selamanya
Cintaku dengan cahaya mu
Kekal selamanya
Tetap dalam ingatanku

Lemas dalam rindu
Tenggelam dalam tangisan
Engkau telah pergi
Tapi masih ada...
Yang kau tinggalkan dalam kalbuku
Yang tinggal...
Aku......

This song is called 'Mentari Merah Di Ufuk Timur' by Search... The reason I put this lyrics here is not 'cuz I'm a rocker...well, I am...but dats not the reason for me doin' it...

Look at the lyrics and understand it well... In general it is sayin' dat, one day...we will come to a day where we all are gonna meet our maker... We juz don't know when...

When I got the news dat my Grandma has passed away, I requested an early leave from my Team Leader...well not 'dat' early cuz my shift was gonna end in 'bout 15 minutes... I've already informed her the condition of my grandma earlier dat day, so she was kind enuff to let me leave the office. She did asked me whether I wanted to go, earlier than dat but at that time I just spoke to my cousin and he told me dat our grandma was slightly than 'bout 4 hour before dat...so I said to my Team Leader dat I wanna juz continue my shift.

I arrived at my grandma's house 'bout 5 pm, later dat day. I was drivin' like a crack on the highway. I never got below 100km/h... The last time I checked the speedometer, I was doin' 140km/h...

When I arrived, she was lying motionless in the middle of the house... I sat down next to her and recited the 'Yassin'. Later, I got to know she passed away sumwhere 'round 1.30 pm and my dad and my mum was one of the few people dat has been right next to her when she exhaled her last breath...

Dat night, I was the one who was sleeping right next to her. I was sleeping on her left. Nobody dared to say anythin' to me... And throughout the night, my aunts and my uncle was reciting the 'Yassin' for my late grandma. By lying next to her dat night, and listening to them reciting the 'Yassin', I know how it felt to be 'dead'...

She was buried the next day, on the 9th of July 2008. All of my cousins carried her to the bathing place and back...and all of them was crying. I didn't...not a single tear came out... It's kinda frustrating when you are not able to cry... The last time I cried was in 1994 when my other grandma passed away...I've lost the ability to cry since then... After dat, we all carried her body to the mosque for the prayers and followed her to the cemetary... All of this happenned without me shedding a single drop of tear... Even my dad was crying... Well... I cried on the inside...I think...

The last thing I said to her was... "I'm gonna see you again, one day..." and "Send my regards to all, everybody there..."

Life must go on...even if it is one of hardest things to do...

Al-Fatihah untuk Allahyarhamah Bibi Sabariah binti Mohamed Mohaidin...

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me,
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest...