Hmmm...A PaRTiNG WiTh THe OLd 'N' A MeeTiNG WiTh A NeW ONe...

Thursday, December 31, 2009

I can't believe it...but it's the dawn of another new year...

Thinkin'...thinkin'...... Still thinkin'......... The neurons are shooting electrical impulses throughout the body at the speed of light and the brain cells are workin' hard rite now...

Yes...No...Definately, maybe...... Pros... Cons... Could have... Should have... Would have......

Brain startin' to hurt a lil' bit...but not yet meltin'...... Heavy Rock songs in the background. Metallica, Alterbridge, Hammerfall, Nightwish, Angra, Slipknot, Korn, Endeverafter, Amaran, Sevendust, Dark New Day, Not Forgotten, Limp Bizkit, Slayer, Linkin' Park, Kid Rock, Disturbed, Metalasia, Saliva, Rage Against The Machine, Apocalyptica, Seether, Sepultura, Venom, Nickelback, Divide The Day, Search, DragonForce, The Art of Dying, Led Zeppelin, Papa Roach, Avenged Sevenfold, Wings, Marilyn Manson, Our Lady Peace, Pantera, Drowning Pool, Scorpions, Motorhead, Foo Fighters, Deep Purple, Manowar, The Children of Bodom, Velvet Revolver, System Of A Down and Evanesence keeps repeating itself...over and over again......

To some people the music will only helps in the meltdown of their puny brains...and mess everythin' up... But not to me...... To me, it's an orchestrated chaos...beautifully disastrous. Hahaha...

By the way...I'm still thinkin'...... I...still...function...

And then I realized sumthin'... Ice-creams!!! I need sum ice-creams...dat'll help. I dun want my brain to overheats itself...need a BrAiN FReeZe!!!

Hmmm...dat was anti-climatic, dun you think so? Hahahahahahaha...

Uh, c'mon people... You can't be serious 24/7, rite?!?! Sumtimes you juz need to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Take a few steps back and look at the big picture... Trust me, it'll help...a lot.

HAPPY NeW YeAR to ALL!!! May the first light of the sun in the new year spells the beginning of your joy dat would last for the whole of 2010... GOD bless all of you...whoever and wutever you are......

We may want a beautiful flower but God would give us a thorny cactus. We wanted a beautiful butterfly but then God gave us a hairy caterpillar... And then, we wonder why we never got what we've wished for. But, think again...think deep and think hard. From the cactus, we will get our beautiful red flower and from the hairy caterpillar, we'll get our colourful butterfly.

God works in mysterious ways. He gave us what we need...not what we want...... 'Cuz sumtimes, wut we want isn't really what we need......

As for me... It's ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will. Five percent pleasure...fifty percent pain. And a hundred percent reason to remember the name. ReMeMBeR Me...BLOOD SWeAT 'n' TeARS...

A lot of things happened in 2009... A lot of things dat I've learned in 2009... So, I come......

I've seen better days
So says the mirror
It's hard to find divinity when you're the king of men

It could be much worse
But the call is close
Tomorrow's my reason for today to let go

If I can get through this
I can get through that
If you cut me wide open
I can cut you some slack
If you come when I'm leaving
I might never be back
I know it's not easy
Just a matter of fact

If I can get through this
I can get through anything
If I can make it through this
I can get through anything
I promise you

Will I make it through? Hmmm...we'll see......

DeADMAN out...and I will return......


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done
I miss the life
I miss the colors of the world
Can anyone tell where I am

I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone. There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I've known

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't tell what I've done

And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again

HaPpY + AnGrY = YoU, Me n eVeRYBoDy eLSe...

Monday, December 28, 2009

Hmmm...where do I start... Let's share a few things dat would make happy and thing's dat would juz piss me off in a few seconds, shall we...

Well, for starters, the first thing dat would make me happy is the well being of my beloved parents. They are everythin' for me. Hmmm...I think the proper thing to say is my whole family, rite? Plain and simple... Well, I guess most of the people out there will say the same thing too.'s a bit cliché dun you think so?

The next thing is, Transformers toys collection. I know it's not much, but least I dare say dat I earn every single one of it. I bought each one of it wit my hard earned monthly salary. I never got a chance to have any of it when I was a, when I got my own money I go out and bought some to make myself happy. And in the process make sure dat the kid in me is still lives!!! Some people might say..."Grow up dude!!! Get a life, will ya!!!" But, who cares... As long as I dun bother anybody's FReAKIN' life, dat's good enuff... Hahaha...

However, there's one thing dat could make he happy and angry all at the same time... And they are...the frenz dat I have. Yup, they are the ones dat could make you or break you into pieces... They are the one who could share your happiness or sorrow. They are also the one who could stab you in the back at any moment given. So, choose carefully who your frenz are...

I once told a fren dat, we can't share everythin' wit everybody. I know cuz, I've been in dat situation before... Telling people your deepest, darkest secret can bite you back in the ass. People did dat to me... Well, I have to admit dat it was my fault too. Who the hell asked me to tell everythin' to them?!?!?! Yeah, ok...I know... My bad judgment call. Fineee... Stop rubbin' salt to the wound, ok... Hahaha.

But the worst is when they lie to me... I hate it cuz, I won't lie to them. I would never do dat...unless if I have too. I always have a good reason to do the things I do. Maybe it would not sound good to others, but I can't satisfy everybody...can I? But come to think 'bout it...9 times out of 10... I don't lie. Really, what's the point in lying, anyway?!?!

Nobody's perfect, remember. Being old doesn't necessarily make you a wiser person. Even Einstein regretted when he created TNT...

But seriously, the same thing dat could me happy...can also make me angry. I believe the same goes to everybody else... "How?" some might ask... Well, all of you have your own set of brains...rite? So, go figure... Hehehe

Dat's all for now...

THe DeADMAN will return......


Well, we had this Gift Exchange thingy goin' on wit our department a couple of weeks ago... They've also organized a quiz session and 'makan-makan' session for the whole team.

It was really was... We were separated in to 5 teams and each team had about 4 to 5 team members. There were 3 sets of quizzes that we need to complete and team was in the 2nd place. Uh,'s good for a bunch of wacky people!!!

So, when it was the time for the gift exchange to start...we were still needed to answer a question before we can get the present... Well, for the unlucky ones...dat is... And guess what......I was in dat group. Hahaha. My question was 'When is Boxing Day?'. Seriously I dun know... And my big boss said, 'It's the day you go boxing la...'. Well, I said... 'I box everyday!!!' Hahaha... But, hey... I do......wit my door.

Ok, so after dat I got my present. It was funny... The same person who jokingly said if any of us dun have any wrapping paper, we can use the burger wrapping paper that we can get from the burger stall actually did it!!! He a.k.a my Team Lead actually wrapped the gift in a burger wrapping paper!!! And guess what...I got the gift.... Hahaha

As for me...I'd wrapped 2 of my MISP Hot Wheels car collection and juz put it in the gift pile... And my boss was the one who drew the number of my stuff. It was a 2010 Shelby Mustang GT500 and a 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8. I was like really...really hoping dat she would get it...cuz she likes cars too!!! My wished had come true...hehehe

Dis might be a bit odd as I'm not the kind of person who really like to post pictures in my blog but here's some of it... Hope dat we still have a chance to do this again, people!!!

Here's the gift pile!!!

See!!! A FReAKIN burger wrapper!!!

The whole team... So happy...after the meal, of course...

Look!!! That's the burger I was talkin' 'bout... I'm not lying, am I!!!

UnTiLL iT SLeePs?!?!?! UnTiLL I'm GoNe...

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Well, another boring weekend for me... Hmmm...gotta do somethin' 'bout dis. Do I need to get myself a girlfren or sumthin'? Hah, like dat's gonna ever happen in a million years!!! Yeah, ok...enuff 'bout me feelin' pathethic. Fineee... Let's talk 'bout sumthin' else, shall we?

Hmmm...I've talked 'bout my job, cars, Transformers, musics and......somehow, I've have no idea of what else I'm suppose to write in here. Hahaha... Damnnn, my life's boring... But my dreams aren't so empty, as my conscience seems to be.

Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side

So tear me open and pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps

Just like the curse just like the stray
You feed once now it stays
Now it stays

So tear me open but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me until I'm clean

It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you so hold me

So tell me why you've chosen me
Don't want your grip, don't want your greed
Don't want it

I'll tear me open make you gone
No more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me
So hold me, until it sleeps

It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you, holds you, holds you

I'll tear me open make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shames me
So hold me
Until it sleeps

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called 'the PReSeNT'.

THe ASHeS of SiN...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Mistakes I've made
There's no turning back the clock
This road is cleared
Stashes all my secret thoughts

Desire sways
Raise a hand inside my heart
This masquerade has turned me into what I'm not

I'm on my way
To sacrifice for a new start
I'll take the blame
For the turn of broken hearts

This taste for shame
Has got my twisted into knots
This masquerade, a moving train that I can't stop

From ashes to ashes
Look at the burning masses
Beautifully disastrous
From ashes to ashes
Look at the burning masses
Beautifully disastrous
From ashes of sin
I come alive
From ashes of sin
I rise

SoMeThiN' iS DoNe...SoMeThiNG eLSe iS oN It'S WaY

Hmmm...guess wut... When my cousin sister picked me up at the train station, I juz realized dat I had left both my house and my car keys at my parent's place... Nice. huh... Yup, of all the gotta happen at dat time and of all the people in the happened to me... Oh, crap......

Well, the good news is the car is finally fixed... Not painted yet, but fixed... Dat's good enuff for now. I think I'll re-paint it next year, which is not dat far from now... Plannin' to do it at the end of January next year. We'll always...

I've not been in a pretty good mood since last Wednesday... Got this firery urge to beat the shit out of somebody... I dun know why...but I juz wanna beat somebody up... I almost forgot how good it felt to beat somebody up... I wonder if I would still have so much fun as I used to. Well, maybe I'm juz too old for dat now... If I was the same person a few years back...maybe dat somebody would rather kill himself... Hmmmm...... Dat was then...this, is now. But dat doesn't mean I would hesitate to flip. Gimme 2 seconds and you'll see a different side of me...

But, it's good to know dat I've stopped doin' stuff like dat for quite a while now... So you dun have to worry...well, unless you do sumthin' stupid dat is...

A friend asked me to write somethin' about hope... Well, this is what I gave her...

Hope is somethin' dangerous when you don't know how to give up... Hope is somethin' that will wrap you around your neck in a noose and it'll drop you down...Hangin'... When you don't know how to stop... So, stop...before it becomes too late... Hmmm...just a thought...

And then she just realized dat I was serious... Well, I am.........

Goin' HoMe...FoR a ReST

'THe DaY' came and it drifted away like the clouds...and not many people know 'bout it... Good, juz the way I like it. But for those who remembered... Thanks...

The car is still in a mess...I dun have the time to repair it yet. Well, not to mention 'bout the means of me payin' for the repairs... I am soooo screwed up, man... Hahahaha...

Went back to my parent's house for Eid Ul Adha. One of the good thing was I got to download a whole bunch of songs...both new and some past hits... Hehehe... The bad thing was... I need to go back by myself...boardin' a train!!! My sister got some exam dat she needs to attend, dat's why I'm goin' back alone... She got the other car wit her, and I was not drivin' dis time...

I was downloadin' those songs to make up a new compilation CD. The ones I have rite now is a bit old...and I've been listenin' to it for the past a couple of months or so. Hehehe... Definately need a new one. But dis time, it's a bit different as I'm thinkin' to make a compilation of rock ballads and some slow rock songs... But again, who am I kiddin'. Obviously there will be some brain splatterin' rock song dat will be included in the CD. Songs by EndEverAfter, Drowning Pool, Nickelback, Slipknot and stuff like dat. Well, I like dat kind of music...

So this will mark the first time I ever board a train... Pretty lame, huh... Uh well, who cares... I've been in a car, bus, lorry, boats, airplane and now, train... So the cycle is complete, I guess. Hahaha. I'm even writin' this post in the train itself. Not a smooth ride all the way, kinda like the way you would feel in a bus but slightly quieter. Except when the coach-connectin' door is opened. Then the noise of the engine would be a bit annoyin' but you'll get used to it. Hehe. The earphones really helped. Not to mention the 243 songs dat I have in my playlist!!!

My mum told me dat a fren of mine is also in the same train as me. But I dun know she's sittin' in which coach. Maybe I'll look for her later. Maybe not... Depends on my mood. Hehehe.

I got a whole bunch of things dat I need to do when I get back home. Not to mention the things in the offfice...which is a good thing for me. I'm occupied wit the work dat I need to do so I won't be bothering anybody, anytime soon.

Well, dat's it for now... DeADMAN out... but I will return...