Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Can you remember remember my name
As I flow through your life
A thousand oceans I have flown
And cold spirits of ice
All my life
I am the echo of your past

I am returning the echo of a point in time
Distant faces shine
A thousand warriors I have known
And laughing as the spirits appear
All your life
Shadows of another day

And if you hear me talking on the wind
You've got to understand
We must remain
Perfect strangers

I know I must remain inside this silent well of sorrow

A strand of silver hanging through the sky
Touching more than you see
The voice of ages in your mind
Is aching with the dead of the night
Precious life (your tears are lost in falling rain)

And if you hear me talking on the wind
You've got to understand
We must remain
Perfect strangers

The song 'Perfect Strangers' by Deep Purple. One of my favourite song...

I'm supposed to see ZuL and ChAcK today, but they bailed out... I HATE IT!!! They said I never confirmed with them 'bout the meeting. I was at the meeting place and they are nowhere to be seen. I called ChAcK and he said that they're at the Masjid Jamek LRT Station. He said 'cuz I didn't call ZuL to confirmed the meeting, both of them is now at the LRT Station to 'lepak together-gether'... I was so damn pissed off until......

MiYaKe called me(continued from the previous sentence)... The first in nearly 3 weeks. More accurately, it's been 21 days. That brought back a big smile on my face... I dreamt 'bout her last night...and the last thing I would expect was that she's gonna call me... She said that she wants to know wut the hell happened to me. All this talk 'bout purposely failing the test and me sounding so demotivated in my blog...that includes me punching on the walls and doors... And the fact that she missed me(eventhough she didn't admit it, but I know...hehehe)

She also wants to know when will she be able to have a one on one session with we always did...

She also have been doin' some sort of crazy things at the office such as requesting another TTT Session (even when she dun really need it) just 'cuz she was tired and lazy of conducting the class... Well, wut can I say, she learned to do all this things from the best...ME!!!

We talked for about an hour or so...and she asked me 'bout 20 to 35 questions... Seriously, no joke... She said that she got all this questions on a survey and wanted my honest answer. So, I gave her my most honest answer to all of it. Not a single lie... She then told me that she know more 'bout me... Hmmm...I hope so...

Unfortunately there is a possibility that I'm still unable to see her for the time being... Well, one can only hope... Dum Spiro Spero...

Like I said before... I missed her, a lot...



Friday, April 25, 2008

MiYaKe replied my e-mail... It made me feel better... At least I know she's there... I replied back and told her not to worry about me... I repeated some of the things that I've said to her before... (DAMN, I MISS HeR, A LOT!!!)

We got to use Vista today...nice interface and features... Pardon the excitement 'cuz I've never use it before and not really into this new updates and upgrades on OS and PC. Stopped being excited on that for years now... I'm more looking foward on dismantling the PC's. I like taking thing apart and exploring it... More like DeSTROYING things, actually(evil grin)... Also, haven't done it in quite a while... SeeK 'N' DeSTROY!!!

Hmmm...I dun have much to say nowadays... Dun know why......or maybe I do know...just keepin' it to myself...

I'm not feelin' very well... My head hurts a lot...


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Met-up wit ZuL last Friday...we talked 'bout the change... He also said that I need to revert to who I was before...'bout stoppin' to be the 2nd and being the one on top of the list again... Being no. 1...

I never again and again count it over

Never again and again and again this


Come on again and again on my power

And on the shame and my pain will I get this

Why ?!!

It's so real!!

Fall in love again?

It's all we have to live

Whenever i'm unseen

I blame it on myself

All over again and again coming over

Never again and again and again this


Come on again and again on my power

And on the shame and my pain will I get this


It's so real!!!

Fall in love again?

It's easier to be.....

Whenever i'm unseen

I blame it on myself

Silky coloured

Will you love me? (Suck!!)

Silky coloures

Will you leave me?

Silky coloured

Indecision (Go!!)

Silky coloured

Cause I'm a patienttt...


Fall in love again?

It's all we have to livee...

Whenever i'm unseen

I blame it on my self


Fall in love again ?

Fall in love again ?


I always say that life is like drivin' a car... You look foward, to the thing that is in front of you...but sometimes, you also need to look at the rear view see what's behind... Just like life, you look with to the things ahead of you, the future...but there is a time you need to look back to the past and learn from your experience... People say that experience is the benchmark of maturity, but to me...experience is juz another name for mistakes...

By the way, the lyrics is from Butterfinger's 'The Chemistry (between us)'... They're considered the pioneer and godfather of the Malaysian underground scene... And they're friends with my older cousin brother...they played music together...

This past week is juz another boring weekend...sitting at home and doin' absolutely nuthin', and nuthin' is bad...remember... I NEED TO DO SUMTHIN"!!!!!! (dats wut would happen if you dun have frens around you...)Oh, yeah...did I mention dat I purposely failed my post-ACE test... Well, I did...juz for the fun of it. Dun ask me why...I got my own reason other than for fun.

I need to straighten my life up...and I need help. But I'm not sure if there's anybody out there to help me...... I'm keepin' it all inside and dun know how to let it out...and I dun tell anybody 'bout it, juz 'cuz I dun know how to...

Lingering thoughts of mode morphin'...

Friday, April 18, 2008

Sometimes there's a time you must say good bye though it hurts, you must learn to try. I know I've got to let you go… But I know anywhere you go… You'll never be far 'cuz like the light of a bright star you'll keep shining in my life… You're gonna be right here in my heart. That's where you'll be… You'll be with me, here in my heart. No distance can keep us apart as long as you're here in my heart……

There won't be any tears falling from these eyes, ‘cuz when love is true it never dies… It stays alive forever and time can't take away what we have… I will remember our time together. You may think our time is through but I'll still have you here in my heart… I know you'll be back again...

And 'till then...I’ll be waiting. No distance can keep us apart as long as you're here in my heart

I close my eyes only for a moment, and the moment's gone... All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity... Same old song just a drop of water in an endless sea. All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see... Dust in the wind... All we are is dust in the wind.

Hmmm...feeling a lil' bit sentimental today... Dun know why...maybe it's 'cuz the the weather. Cloudy and rainin'...kinda dull and no sunshine......

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn
Don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
And it's tearing me apart
It's ruining every day
I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey, so did you
So why were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?
But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger...
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have you have have to let it linger?

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, I was wrong If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just want to be with you
And I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do have to let it linger?
Do you have you have have to let it linger?

And I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do have to let it linger?
Do you have you have have to let it linger?

You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do have to let it linger?
Do you have you have have to let it linger?

'Linger' by The Cranberries... Nearly faded away in my mind 'till I heard it in the movie 'Click' starring Adam Sandler. The movie teaches you a lot about life and patience...

Actually my emotions are a bit mixed around. Again, maybe it's 'cuz the weather or my current surrounding and situation...

FUCK!!! I hate it when I'm like this... I'm suppose to be the SUPeR-DUPeR CRAZee FReAKY, dun give a shit kinda guy!!! I definately need to go back to the way I was before...not the bad part of it...just the good things...... Makin' people 'round me happy and helpin' them to take a different look at life. To stir thing up a lil' bit...and make it even more interesting...

Need to revert to 'Normal' mode again...NOW!!!

St. ANGeR 'n' THe PuRsUiT of HAPPINeSS

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

It is said that it's nothing better than to start your day with a 'bang', here goes... 'BANG'!!!

The weekend didn't go well at all...let me see...where should I start... Somebody asked me not to look for mom got admitted to the hospital...and my knuckles, biceps and triceps hurts(due to the punching that I've been doing on my door...good enuff that my fist didn't bled, 'cuz it did back then...)

So, that was it...when I thought it couldn't get worst, guess what...IT DID!!! Some guy (I know who...) sends me a message and sort of trying to get on my nerve and pisses me off... It nearly worked until I saw my door and started punching it really hard with my bare fists... Punching doors(wooden doors) or walls is how I let my anger and frustrations out...but I've stopped doing that for quite sometime, now...but I'm doin' it again... I used to punched until my fists was bleeding. I actually punched the doors and walls until the skin of my knuckles tore off, that's why it was bleeding and I just leave it like that...didn't even bother to wipe the blood off... My biceps and triceps hurts 'cuz of the constant arm stretching when punching the door...haven't done that for a while, ya' know...that's why it hurts... Go figure...

Do you know that it takes 17 muscles to smile --- 43 to frown(to show displeasure with or disapproval of especially by facial expression)...and I haven't been smiling that much for the past 1 week...there's so many things inside my head and I've been thinking too much lately...


And I want my anger to be healthy...And I want my anger just for me...And I need my anger not to control...And I want my anger to be me...And I need to set my anger free...SET IT FREE!!!

MiYaKe...if you're reading this... Please be assured that I'm not angry or mad at you. I'm mad and angry at myself and the things that I've done... I understand that you need your time alone and to clear some things up and I ReSPeCT your request to me for not to look for you for the time being... This is maybe the only way that I can reach you now(that is only if you are opening and reading my blog)... When it's all said and know where and how to get me(just like I always said to you). You can count on me if you need my help... Remember what we promised each other? And you know that I'll always do whatever I said I'll do... I never break any of my promises and I don't wanna start now...not ever...

I wasn't 'that' surprise when I received your message the other day...I knew it was comin'...sooner or later... I've been wronged, I've been dump into the bottom of every bottom...It did hurt, but I've learned a lot of things inside my life and having a high threshold of pain is one of it... So, I think...I'll manage...

Here I go now, into the days. Ain't no mercy there for me. And I went on down that road. I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffering... Do you bury me when I'm gone? Do you teach me while I'm here? Just as soon as I belong, then it's time I disappear...but I hope it wouldn't be that long......

Wonderin' 'bout ToKiDoKi...'n' MiYaKe...

Friday, April 11, 2008

So lately, you're wondering when we'll be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face

If the rain will wish I'd fall
I'd fall upon a star
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days

If the rain will wish I'd fall
I'd fall upon a star
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go

I first heard this song somewhere back in 2002 or 2003...dun quite remember...hehehe. It brings back the theme of expecting a miracle, right? By wishing to undone what has been done, to be back and to be watching over the person you love and also hope that the love would never change...

It's called 'Wherever You Will Go' by The Calling. I listened to it when I was on my way back home yesterday... And there is a reason why I bold the sentences...

I'm thinkin' 'bout goin' out with MiYaKe this weekend... It's been a while since the last time we went out together... But I'm afraid that she might already have a plan...

Anyway...MiYake, wanna go out this weekend???(Pls answer...hehehe)

I haven't change my tyres yet...maybe I'll do it by the end of the month... For the time being, I have to drive using the spare tyre... I hate that...feels like the car is not perfect...dun like it one bit at all...

Waaaa.....I'm sleepy *BIG YAWN*

Realizing that you need a tyre change... And dreaming...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Take time to realize
That your warmth is
Crashing down on me
Take time to realize
That I am on your side
Well didn't I, didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you
If you just realize

What I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize
What I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other, now

Take time to realize
Oh oh, I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you
Take time to realize
Oh oh, I'm on your side
Oh ooo oh ooo oh
But I can't spell it out for you
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you

If you just realize
What I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other
And we`ll never find another
Just realize
What I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other, but
It's not the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it too
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way
It could be the same for you

If you just realize
What I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize
What I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other

Just realize
What I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize
What I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other, now
Missed out on each other now

"This song is about falling in love with your best friend...but don't know what to do next." -Colbie Caillat (pronounced - "Kole-bee Kal-lei") singer. (seems familiar...but where...hhmmmmm...)

Colbie is a singer that gained popularity when her first single, 'Bubly' was circulating in the Internet through her Myspace page. This song, titled 'Realize' was her 2nd single from her album. The statement above was made in an interview when she was asked about the song.

MiYaKe called me earlier today...and complaint the blog was getting a lil' bit boring... Hahaha. I told her that I was too sleepy to think...

I called her again later... And somehow along the way...she said that she is acting like my so-called big sis and I'm her lil' bro... NO WAY...I DON'T THINK SO!!! Off all of the things in the world, that is definitely sumthin' that I can't accept... And, she's not big at all...she small, cute and petite... Not a big sis material... Hahaha. She is sooo gonna beat me up for saying that..... Sorry know I'm joking, right...(about you being my big sis, it's serious... it's a big NO!)

I dreamt about her a couple of days ago...and the odd part was there was 2 other people in it... I told her 'bout this and she told me maybe it's 'cuz I miss those people and wanted to see them again... Well, maybe... I do miss her...a lot... The other 2 used to be a friend of mine... I don't think that they still regards me as a friend now...

My rear tyre punctured...just as I arrived at the office. Luckily I already parked my car and only then the tyre blew up. Yup, it literaly blew up...with a bang... I thought my exhaust had fallen off...a lil' bit scary... Hehehe. So, now I need to borrow a jack from my classmate since mine was stolen... Good luck and Bad luck mixed together...

That's life...


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Day 2 of Product and Technical Training...
A brief introduction on how to do the recovery thingy. HP has 15 recovery CDs for one single machine... Damn, that's a lot. It's recomended to burn it into DVD...easier...(I guess).
Customer Service - Satisfying the customer by giving them value added service...

Learned to use positive word choices, be friendly, concern, appreciative, empathetic, dependable, patience, honest and building good rapport with customers... Hey, I could use some of those things in my everyday life(duh...I've been doin' dat all my life but nobody even gives a shit 'bout it...)

"Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid." - Captain Jack Sparrow.(Hmmm... I can use this, huh?)

Deja-Vu... I feel as if I've been here the training room and doin' what I'm doin' now...

I sent an e-mail to MiYaKe yesterday...with a picture of a bunch of CJ7 in it. Hehehe...just to make her smile early in the morning. She needs it to make her day better, considering that nearly everybody is getting on her nerve at the office. They're lucky I'm not there...or else, I'll be shoving my fist down their FReAKIN' throat!!!

I found one of the addresses that I've been looking for...belongs to Chip Foose. One of the famous car builder and customiser in the world...
Foose Design Inc

Story Ideas Ref# 67-3456-00117811
Sampson Lane
Huntington Beach, CA. 92647


-_- up d/m/y --> (sleepy update, get it?)

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Today is the first day of Product and Tech Training...
The trainer is a Malaysian...hehehe. The previous 2 trainers was from Phillipines and America. He's doing the briefing for the training roadmap and work related thing including the job scopes, MC issue, the need of sales(tele-marketing), but not mandatory bla bla bla...

Some of the guys were like shocked when they know that they're gonna do the sales thingy... I already saw that coming so, I don't really give a shit 'bout it. Been there, done that... No issue at all(hopefully)... I was quite familiar with all of this in the previous company so, wouldn't be a problem(again, hopefully)...

I got to see the upcoming Transformers Classics toys that will be release somewhere around May or June. Quite nice...remake of the G1 with a twist of latest design. And being a Transformers fan, I have to admit that it's a pretty interesting design fusion...

The past weekend was absolutely BORING!!! I didn't do anything, except for watching Astro until I feel like vomitting like hell in front of the damn TV... I was thinking 'bout going out with MiYaKe or HaNie or my so-called sister, FiDa or ChAcK or ZuL but everybody was busy or already have plans of their own... That sucks, seriously big time... Went out anyway to get my car washed, but it rained soon after that. No point of washing it... But, hey...that's life. It's not that the sun is gonna shine everyday in your FReAKIN' life...

I'm so damn sleepy today. Didn't get enuff sleep. I was awake around 11 am and couldn't force myself to sleep 'cuz I was not tired enuff...

MiYaKe's ToKiDoKi

Saturday, April 5, 2008 Miyake gave me the definition for Saggitarians...

Likes to mingle with people - Yes
Loves to a have a good life - Yes(who doesn't...duh!)
Unfortunaly, also like to flirt - Hmm...depends...
The romantic type - Not really sure 'bout this(never had any girlfriend to prove it, anyway)
Attractive - I really dunno 'bout this, seriously...
Likes entertainment - Yes
Likes to travel to beautiful places - Yes
Usually dressed in casual n loose - Yes
Quite an excessive spender - Yes(especially when it comes to things or person that I like and love)
Would be very happy to have a female companion - Yes
Quite easy to fall in love - Maybe, it depends
Not really interested in a long-term relationship - No(a BIG NO!!!)

So, by combining both of the element's's kinda like my overall personality. Although there are some things missing in it.

Somethings are better left as secrets...

p/s I put the picture for fun...and b'cuz its cute. Kinda like MiYaKe... Hehehe...

MiYaKe's Miracle...

Friday, April 4, 2008

Here's a few definition of a person who is born under the Scorpio sign (according to MiYaKe)...

Small built - Yes and No

Sharp and intense stare as if he can read minds - Yes
His emotion shows in the way he walks. Walks slowly when calm but somewhat the opposite if not - Big maybe
Easily offended but have the ability to hide it in plain sight - No and Yes
Willing to work for years just to achive sumthin' that he really wants. The same thing happens if he is holding a grudge to somebody. He will plan on how to get his revenge - Yes, I guess
Would be happy if he's in charge - Maybe
The dominant type in his relationship - Maybe

The reason that I put Yes, No and Maybe is because I'm born under that sign. However, I could also fall under the Saggitarius sign... So, I think it's safe to say that I can take both of their personality. Good and bad ones... Double the Trouble...

But, anyway...I'm still waiting for MiYaKe to give me the Saggitarius' definition...I was hoping that she would give it to me today, but she sent me Libra instead... Hmm...makes me wonder......

She told me that 'tokidoki' means sometimes. But can also be define as 'hoping for a miracle to happen somewhere in life itself'. Don't we all hope for the 'miracle' to happen...EVERYDAY!!!

And for the sake of miracles...the CJ7 alien is for MiYaKe... She loves the CJ7 alien n she have one... Hehehe...

I've just passed my ACE Test...and that is good(I guess...)

KaRmA 'n' ToKiDoKi

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Have you ever heard of KARMA? Some of the explanation in Wikipedia is:
a) the effects of all deeds actively create past, present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain and joy it brings to them and others
b) if one does good or spiritually valuable acts, one deserves and can expect good luck; conversely, if one does harmful things, one can expect bad luck or unfortunate happenings
c) all living creatures are responsible for their karma — their actions and the effects of their actions — and for their release from samsara
but it can be collectively interpreted as the cycle of life. Good things will happen to people who do good and vice versa...or sumthing like dat, right?

There's a guy inside my class currently who is older than I am...most probably older than most of the class' members. We're cool and we talked about many things... One of the topic was cars and money(obviously, men's favourite subject)... I told him the condition of my car(which is not that good due to the left break pads is completely out of order)... And he gave me some of his money to go and the damn thing fixed. I was really surprised 'cuz I'd never expect that to happen and I'd never had any intention at all to ask for his help. THIS GUY BARELY KNOWS ME!!! AND WE'VE ONLY BEEN IN THE CLASS FOR THE PAST FREAKIN' WEEK!!!

Somehow, this reminds me of the things that I've done before. Back when I was in training about a year ago in my previous company. I did the same thing to a guy,(which then becomes one of my best friends) when we was in training together. I gave him some of my money, just cuz he said that his in-laws are coming and he's broke at that time. And again, I ONLY GOT TO KNOW THIS GUY FOR ABOUT A WEEK(at that time)!!!

That just shows that karma actually does happen... Kinda creepy-ish mixed together with some 'thing' that is out of our limited way of thinking... Nice, huh?

I was told to search for tokidoki...and I got punk'd by her... Yes, I got to meet her earlier today during her dinner time. The last time I got to see her was about a week ago...and it was really good to see her again. I miss her and her perfume. I named her after her perfume...Hehehe. But by the way, the only thing I found out about tokidoki was it's some clothing line from japan or sumthin'...

I'm damn sleepy...... *YAWN*

Expecting? The unexpected, of course...

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Hey, guess what? She called me today.... Hahahaha
After reading my what I've wrote in here, she called me up to say good nite, laugh at my English accent and to scold me about the blog. That was funny... I wasn't expecting the call, but I hoped for it (as usual)... She said that she doesn't know what to put inside the 'comment' thingy, so she just called me up to scold me...Hahaha... Kinda cute...

She laughed at my accent and purposely asked me to say something related to my ACE training in the so-called neutral slang... and she keeps teasing me about it.

She said that she was somewhat embarrassed by the way I described her in the blog. I told her not to worry because nobody except her have the address for the blog. Quite awkward, huh? Anyway, we laughed a lot while on the line and she said one of the reason she called is just to make me laugh and happy, because she said that she knows that I haven't laugh that much for quite sometime now...

After she said that, I felt a lil' bit creepy-ish. Normally I would be the one who did it and said those thing to other people. Actually, she took the words right out of my mouth. I was about to say the same thing to her. That just showed how much we know each other. Huhu...definately wasn't expecting that...

But I never lost hope... Dum Spiro Spero...