DReAMIN' n CHaSiN' iT tO LIVe iT...

I saw her again in my dream last 2 nights. Her hair's different. As if she highlighted it... Looks nice on her... Normally people would say dat, if you were to meet a person which you really wanna see in your dreams...it means dat they are missin' you too...or at least they would be thinkin' 'bout you too. Hmmm...could it be? I dun forget people...but people would forget me...easily.

A lot of things happened in this past week. I got my pay, settled all my debts, got an offer for a job from my frenz and the usual 'lack of sleep' thingy. My sis is lookin' for a job now...I told her to go to my previous office. She's gonna learn a lot of new things there, but I told her not to ever mention me. Not to even write my name in the application form. I have my own reason for doin' so...

I received a call from my dad last night. He was literally screamin' at my ears for my decision to quit my current job and look for another one. Well...actually I already have another job waitin' for me...and I've accepted their offer. Unknown to others, I've sent the resignation letter and from the looks of it...I know dat I have abso-fuckin'-lutely no freakin' mood to come to work anymore. Hey, workin' odd hour shift for the past couple of years is not doin' me any good, ok...

The last person you would expect to slam me right in the face on the decision I've made would be my Dad...but......he would be the first to do so. I really can't understand on why he has no faith in wut I do or on the decision I make. Even outsiders have more faith in me than my Dad. And I juz can't understand why is it so hard for people to listen and believe wut I told them...

I was tryin' very hard to maintain my composure when I got the call from my Dad. I was hopin' he would say that if I think wut I'm doin' is right, go for it...but hey, we can only hope... And I'm not afraid to say dat it's hope dat made me keep movin' on wit my life and to chase and live my dreamz...

I did sumthin' I haven't done for quite a while... Up to today, only a handful of people has seen me... So, I would expect them to be surprised to see me later.

But, anyway... dat's all for now. I wanna go and heal my wound...so I can live and fight for another day.

I haven't failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. But I believe in KaRmA......

How could he know
This new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?

Set sail to sea
But pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure

Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid
Always afraid
Of the things he's feeling

He could just be gone
He would just sail on
He'll just sail on

How can I be lost,
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost?
In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

These days drift on
Inside a fog
It's thick and suffocating

His sinking life
Outside it's hell
Inside, intoxication

He's run aground
Like his life
Water much too shallow

Slipping fast
Down with his ship
Fading in the shadows

Now a castaway
They've all gone away
They've gone away

Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me
Why can't I forgive me?

UnfOrGiVeN III