[Sila baca post berikut dengan nada yang tenang sambil tersenyum... Hehehe]
Urmmm...kalau tak suke blog aku...nape baca?
Pegi la main jauh-jauh... Aku tak pernah pun suruh korang menghadap bende ni, kan?
Kalau dah tau yang apa yang aku tulis akan menyakitkan hati korang terutamanye bile bende tu btul, tapi korang tak dapat terima...kenape masih di sini...
Ade aku paksa korang untuk kekal membaca? Tidak, kan...
Segala yang aku taipkan (bukan tulis yek...manade orang menulis di online blog... kalau orang tu pakai tablet pun, it's for something else...) adalah apa yang aku saksikan di sekeliling aku... Tentang perlakuan manusia, kehidupan aku...kehidupan orang lain...and maybe watever that comes in between...
Tidak semestinya ia hanya berkait kepada sesuatu individu spesifik, kerana sesungguhnya kehidupan itu tidak pernah dan tidak akan berkisar kepada sesuatu individu tertentu sahaja.
Jika terasa dengan apa yang aku taipkan disini...well, too bad...
Tetapi tidak salah kalau kita cuba memperbaiki diri sendiri, kan.
Mungkin di suatu hari yang indah, kita boleh berbangga dengan mengatakan yang kita adalah manusia yang lebih baik dari yang sebelumnya...
Wahai jiwa-jiwa yang tenang, jangan sekali-kali kamu mencuba jadi Tuhan dengan mengadili dan menghakimi
Bahawasanya kamu memang tak punya daya dan upaya serta kekuatan untuk menentukan kebenaran yg sejati
Bukankah kita memang tercipta lelaki dan wanita, dan menjadi suku-suku dan bangsa-bangsa yang pasti berbeda
Bukankah kita memang harus saling mengenal dan menghormati
Bukan untuk saling bercerai-berai dan berperang angkat senjata
SuKa? TaK SuKa? WHaT's YouR PoInT?
AFTeR A LoNG TIMe...
Hmmm...it's been a while since I last wrote anything in this page... The last time was 8 months ago...well, actually about 4 days shy of 8 months... The last post was on the 9th of March 2010... and today's the 5th of November 2010... Yeup, it's true what people said... Time flies, especially when you lose track of it...
Nothing much has changed when I came to think about it... Apart from my contract in the previous company has ended and within a couple of months, I got another job...it's been the same for me. I got up, go to work , ate 3 meals (well, kind of...), took one good shit and then I go back to bed... Hehehe.
Looking on the positive side of life, I finally finished my car loan... So now it's time for me to repair my car... Top to bottom, front to back... Lucky that I got a better pay in my current company...can save some money in the process... Well, the office is definately quite a long drive from my house...but I do enjoy it... At least I got to listen to my cds and also the radio a bit longer this time, rather than only managing to finish one song before I got to the office's car park...
On another note, aku tak berapa faham dengan perangai sesetengah orang yang sentiasa tak boleh tengok orang lain lebih skit dari diorang... Mesti nak dengki la, sakit hati la etc. Boleh tak kalau korang jangan sibuk pasal orang dan cuba tengok dalam diri sendiri, kenapa korang masih di tempat yang sama sedangkan orang lain dah berada di kedudukan yang lebih baik dari dulu... Aku tau, yang aku ni tak sempurna langsung...tapi tak salah kalau kita sama-sama cuba untuk memperbaiki kelemahan diri sendiri. Tak salah langsung kalau ada sikap bantu-membantu sesama manusia, kan?
Kalau seseorang tu lebih baik dari kita, apa salahnya kalau kita belajar dari mereka dan kalau ianya masuk akal dan munsabah caranya...bukankah itu lebih baik? It's definately better than condeming others, rite? If you, yourself are in a better position than the people you condemned...then maybe it make sense (a bit laaa...). But if you are a bigger screw-ups than that person...well to me you're just making yourself look even worst... Like my sis, Sita like to say it...the pot calling kettle, black...
Anyway...I've changed the look of my page here... Gotta try something else later... But that 'later'...only GOD knows when that's gonna be... Hehehe...
DeADMAN...out...
I sTiLL FuNKTioN...
ChAcK has gone to Pusan, South Korea last Friday... Dat was the last time we, THe BROTHeRS...are together... He's gonna be there for 'bout 9 months or so. He got posted there for a while...but he said dat he should be able to come back here a few times in between dat 9 months.Uh, well...there goes our designated brawler and racer. But, ZuL should be able to fill up those shoes pretty nicely... Hehehe.
My mum called me the other day and said dat they're plannin' to sell off one our house in Ipoh... Yeup, the same house dat we all grew up in. It's kinda sad cuz I really like dat house. It may be small, but dat's where I grew up... Nearly 15 years of my life unfolds in dat house. Unfortunately, my dad can't maintain it anymore. My parents, they need the money...so a decision have to made. With wat I'm makin' right now in a monthly basis, I can't afford to buy the house from my dad...so as much as it hurts to see dat the house will no longer be ours, we have to face the fact.
The good thing 'bout it is, a friend of my family is buying it. One of my old neighbour's gonna buy the house from us. I believe dat it's pretty much in good hands... I then told my mum dat I'm plannin' to save some money and buying a house here...bla, bla, bla...and she was quite surprised. She was wonderin' why I haven't thought of dis before. Hehehe.
I told her, I did...and I pointed the fact dat I do have a set of good, functional brain. It's juz dat I dun use it dat much...unless I want too. We had a good laugh after dat... So, rite now my mum and I have a pretty good idea of what we might do next and she's ok wit it...
I have a lot on my shoulders rite now...but, hey... I'll find a way. I always do...always... *wink
WaLK HaRD...WaLK TaLL...n USe YoUR HeART...
Am I sick?... Well, maybe I am...to some. To others...maybe I'm just fine.
Have you ever get the feelin' that you juz wanna grab sumone by the throat and squeeze the life out of him/her? I know I have... Lookin' straight into their eyes, seein' the pain that their in and enjoy it. Then smash your fist repeatedly on the face until they bleed from their nose, eyes and mouth. Listenin' to them begging for you to stop, but that actually makes you wanna hit them harder...juz cuz the voice annoys the shit out of you...
I've felt dat one too many times... And I dun like it...not one bit... Well, the smashin' part is good...nothin' feels better than to beat the living hell out of somebody... But not gettin' to do it, is a different thing altogether. Havin' to hold everythin' back juz cuz you care for the well-bein' of other... I mean, you definately dun wanna hurt the people you care 'bout...rite?
I'm actually juz fuckin' frustrated...dat's it... I dun use the F-word on a regular basis...so, if I've started using it...dat would mean either I'm very-very angry or I'm frustrated. Dis is one example...
On a nother note... I juz realized dat I have a Facebook account... It seems dat I've accidentally created a Facebook account 'bout 3 years ago... Hmmm...uh, well...might as well use it... Even if I dun put my pics in it... Never liked the idea of takin' my pics...
Got a lot of heat from my aunts this week... Simply cuz I walked home from the office. I dun have my car with me this past week...my sister used it to go back to our parent's house. I was using my cousin sister's car for a couple of daysbefore her mum, my first aunt...wants me to return the car. The reason being...well, apparently...her neighbour wants to borrow it for their trip to Ipoh!!! Nice, huh? Dat made my other aunts furious and when they know dat I have to walk home...it got worse la...
They told me dun ever do dat again as long as they are still alive... They said dat they dun care if my uncles or other aunts dun care or anythin'...but as long as they are alive, I have to know dat I have them... Yeah, ok...ok....I'm an adult now...not 8 anymore... But it does feels good, though... Anyway...they didn't know 'bout all of dis untill my mum told them 'bout it... Hehehe... See? Dat's why I prefer to keep things to myself and dun tell anybody 'bout...almost everythin'...
I always wondered why do people juz love to be...blind. Juz blind... Why do they refuse to see the real thing. Why do they love to be blinded by the things dat is obviously and ridiculously...a lie!!! Why do they love to be blinded by shiny things and money and other shits like dat. Why do they only look at materials rather than use their common sense and think before they start doin' somethin' really, really stupid... And I have no idea why the hell do they care, or too overly concern of what others might think 'bout them or the world 'round them... The other thing dat I dun understand is why do people keep stickin' their nose where they're not suppose too?!?! Mind your own fuckin' business, will ya!?!?
Dun juz look with your eyes...use your heart... There's a reason why we have it inside...to look for somethin' that is inside...
2 WeeKS oF... a LoT oF THiNGs...
I haven't had much time to update the blog nowadays... Too caught up in my work... A lot of stuff to do and not much time to do it. However, I can sense dat I'm gettin' a bit slow in deliverin' the task at hand accordin' to the timeline. Even my boss said the same damn thing. I hate it... Not cuz my boss said I was gettin' slow... I juz hated myself for gettin' slow. My boss is juz doin' his job and wanna help. He's got good intention and I dun mind...not one bit......
Quite a few things happened this past couple of weeks... The last time I updated this page is when I was kinda pissed. At who or what? Well, I think it's better for me to keep it to myself... Let's juz say dat the last thing dat the world wanna see is me in my 'Berserker Barrage' mode, ok...
Finally got a chance to meet up wit SiTa last weekend... The last time I saw her was 'bout a couple of months ago. She has a lot to share... And she gave me an original Royal Malaysian Air Force pilot jacket. Nice...... It was from a frend of her whom I met a few months back. He was a very nice person too... Now I juz need a pair of Aviator sunglasses to go wit it. Hahaha...
Apart from that...well, I would say last 2 weekend was a lot of fun for me... I got my salary and went shopping for some stuff. Mainly T-shirts, shoes and most importantly Transformers... Bought myself a couple more of it. The twins...Skids and Mudflap... Hehehe... Maybe I'll upload the picture a bit later... Also, finally after nearly 3 years using the same ol' phone...I bought a new one... It was another Nokia... To me, they have the best user-interface and it's very user-friendly... 2 main reasons for me buyin' it...apart from the Bluetooth capability, Wi-Fi, USB transfer mode, GPRS, MP3 player, Sliding QWERTY keyboard (yup, got dat too!!!) and the Camera, etc... Hehehe.
Last week was another fun weekend for me. A couple of months ago I went for King Shah's of Metalasia wedding... He's one of ZuL's fren... And, last week...ZuL n Me went to King Shah's house in PJ. It was kinda like a little re-union session of the team. Ritz and Sam was there too. So was the Singaporean band, Metalpura. Metalasia is comin' out wit kinda a re-release of their first album, Khalifah Alam Maya back in 1999 (which was a big hit in the rock n metal scene all over the world like in Korea, Maldives, Greece etc). They'll be using the original line-up consistin' of King Shah and Ritz on guitars (no leads here...just 2 nicely tuned and sync-ed guitar shreddin' together), CD Naz on vocal, Iwan Brakar on bass duty and Sam Maya smashin' the drum set like nobody's business.
There'll be a tour, scheduled in May 2010. And guess what!!! They'll be performin' alongside Helloween and Loudness!!! Yeup...you heard me...they're comin' down...That's great... The other good news is... METALLICA IS COMIN' DOWN TO MALAYSIA!!!!!! No joke!!! Woohooo!!!!!! Anyway, we were at King Shah's place until about 3 in the mornin'...chillin' out and even got a chance to see them shreddin' and smashin'... Hehehe.
Ok...ok... Dat's enuff for now...
DeADMAN will return......
p/s By the way...there will be another session next week. Hehehe *wink
THinKiN' n ReAcTiN'
Hmmmm...it was a pretty hectic week for me.
Sumthin' came up...and it wasn't all dat pretty. I'm not gonna blame anybody for wutever dat has happened. To me, let it be a reminder to myself and the people who was involved in it to be a bit more careful wit wut you do and wut you know... It has also reminded me to my D.T.A attitude I had back then. D.T.A means Don't Trust Anybody...
I remembered sumone once told me dat... The only way to shut a GOD's creation called humans up is by rippin' their vocal chords out of their throats. But even dat might not work...cuz humans, as well all know too well...is very resourceful. They can still write, rite? So the best way...in my opinion is to juz simply terminate them. Well, it might sound a bit threatenin'...when you think 'bout it, huh? Hey, this is the Internet...I can write wutever dat I want in here. And I wouldn't call dat a threat...more like a strong suggestion......*wink
It's a good thing dat I'm the kind of person dat's always open for discussion...and I'm not the type dat would make any desicion without thinkin' it thoroughly. I dun like to jump into conclusion...never did and never will. Unless my instinct kicks into overdrive and I have to make a split-second-type desicions...
Damn...I got soooo many things to say here, I dun even know where to start... But one thing's for sure...I dun give a shit wut people think 'bout me. Wutever things dat I do...I do it for a reason.
DeADMAN's out...for now...
SaD + HaPPy = LiFe Pt. 2
I got a kinda bad news the other day... My cousin...my cousin dat is 6 days younger than me (no joke!!!) is diagnosed with a small hole in her heart... Noooo, it's not a hole left by a guy leavin' her or anythin'... This is serious... And now the doctor found out dat there's a blood clot in her lungs. I was surprised...very surprised. As a matter of fact, I was caught off-guard. I wasn't expectin' dat to happen to her. Nobody did... Hmmm...talk 'bout expectin' the unexpected, huh......
Uh, by the way...I bought the Metallica shirt last week... Hahaha... Off-topic, dun you think so... Well my brain is like a TV remote control. I can change the channel anytime...anywhere to any station dat I want to... Ask the BRoTHeRS...they know...
I finally got a chance to finish the compilation CD for J.N a couple of weeks ago... I put some slow rock songs for her. I'm tryin' to teach her to listen to the slow rock songs now... Hey, she have been listenin' to the same CD for quite sometime now... So, it's 'bout time for her to start to listen to some new songs for a change... It's kinda like the life itself... There will be the time when we're juz sick and tired of doin' the same shit over and over again... And there will come a time for us to do somethin' different just to spice up our lives a 'lil bit, rite!!! And to my surprise...she likes the same song dat I like... Yup, Metallica's Nothing Else Matters...
Then, there was the weekend. It was quite a fun weekend for me... I went out wit J.N on Friday. Bought a couple of nice clothes for her...I picked one and the other one was her choice... Surveyed a few things dat we plan to buy at the end of the month and then we went out for a meal. Hehehe...it was fun hanggin' out wit her. Later dat nite, I went out wit the BRoTHeRS and finally came home at around 1.30 in the mornin'... I'm so damn tired...but we still have time to play the PS2 for another couple of hours before I went to bed at 4 am!!! They continued playin' until about 5 or so, then they
went to sleep...
I went out again on Saturday nite to The Curve...and bought myself a Buster Optimus Prime!!!Woohooo!!! When I got back home, I was so FReAKISHLY happy. When I opened the box and started to work wit the toy, the BRoTHeRs looked at me and said that they haven't seen such pure honest joy in my face for a very long time... I juz smiled back at them...
Hehehe... Then, on Sunday...I went out again...wit them and bought a Bumblebee!!! Now, the set is nearly completed... I juz need to get Skids, Mudflap, Arcee Twins and maybe Jolt. Then, I'm done...hopefully...... Hahaha...
Uh, yeah... One of the things dat Me and J.N surveyed was figurines... I plan to buy one for her...but of course, she got to choose wich one she wants... Hehehe...
PIeCeS...oF Me...
Make me
Into the one you want, into the one you need you bend and
Break me
You watch me separate myself from who I really am
To fit into your plan
Take it
Whatever's left is only following routine and
Fake it
And give in to the thoughts that being bought is what I am
To fit into your plan
The wheels they turn for you, a deity for two.
Holding on it's true, won't bring it back again.
They way you look my friend it's closer to the end.
I'm holding out a hand to bring it back again.
You cut me up again, cut down
You cut me down
You're cutting me in two
And ripping me in three
You're killing with those words you say to me
Tearing me in two
And ripping me in three
How many pieces can you take from me
LiFe GOeS oN...I GUeSS......
Well, nothin' much happened this past couple of weekends... Watchin' TV all day long and I didn't realize it was 4 in the mornin'... The BrOTHeRS were here the other day...so dat was a bit different from the other weekend. I was plannin' to get some stuff the other day...well, I got some of it... Dat's good enuff for now. There's always tomorrow, rite...
Talkin' 'bout my BrOTHeRs...ChAcK is one hell of a PS addict... ZuL on the other hand, well...he'll try almost everythin'. But what I and ZuL agree on is dat we juz enjoy watchin' ChAcK kickin' ass in those games. We would built our own set of cars...and let ChAcK race it in Need For Speed. We created our own character in SmackDown! vs RAW and leave the rest to ChAcK. But seriously, ChAcK is crazy 'bout games... He would stay up all night just to finish the game or spend the whole night exploring it. I've seen it before and trust me when I say sumtimes I wonder how he can stay up all night and go to work the next day without missing a beat. Even I have to at least have a couple of hours of good sleep juz to rest my brain a bit.
Hmmm...our sets of cars... I juz remembered sumthin'!!! Eleanor... Uh, trust me when I say dat it has absolutely nuthin' to do wit a girl...seriously...... It's juz the name... If you've read my blog before...you'll know who she is... Hehehe
I got a post for a fren and by a fren...but I gotta put it on hold first. Come to think 'bout it, it's not the first time either. It would be the 2nd time I have to put a post on hold juz cuz it would affect a few people.
I was wit another fren the other day, SYaH... Went to uptown to get a few things for him. The normal guy stuff like t-shirts, casual shoes etc... Uh, yeah...and I bought a new Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt... Was thinkin' to get a Metallica t-shirt but I didn't bring enuff money. So, I'll settle for one...for now... Hehehe. Then after dat we went for a drink at the mamal stall juz 'round the corner. We were were enjoyin' the drinks, watchin' the wutever movie it was showing on the projector screen and I was answerin' some sms from another fren of mine.
And all of a sudden, he looked at me and said..."Bro, would you juz stop it? You need to stop doing' dis, man...". I was confused and I looked back at him wit a "What?...What the hell was dat about?"... Well, we laughed and I asked him again of what the hell was dat all about. Well, then he told me to stop being too nice to everybody... Hmmm...dat's all to sudden...dun you think so?!?!?! Yeah, even I was confused...
When I come to think 'bout it, he's right. I've been nice to a lot of people and most of the time...too nice. Maybe dat's juz me. But hey, I can be a mean and sadistic person too...not to mention heartless and cruel... But I haven't shown dat dark side of mine for a very long time, now. There's no reason for me to do so...
To tell the truth, he was actually worried 'bout me... Well dude, dat makes the three of you. ZuL n ChAcK is worried as well. They're worried cuz I'm gettin' older by the day but still, I'm all alone... Wit no one to call as a girlfren and all. Hahaha... It sounds a bit ridiculous and also make sense at the same time... They've known me for quite a while now...and trust me when I say dat they sure as hell know what they're talkin' 'bout...
When it comes to things like dis...I dun really know what to say 'bout it. The toughest desicion to make is when it involves the heart, feelings. It involves hopes, determination, sincerity and honesty... A desicion 'bout relationship. To be honest, I'm not a least bit scared of makin' up my mind in bein' committed to sumbody...seriously. It's juz dat I'm too damn scared of ever makin' the first move.
I believed dat I've mentioned it before in here dat I'm not afraid to do most everythin' dat anybody could throw at me...but when it comes to girls...... I would be the first to back down. I'll juz disappear in the crowd. I hate to admit it but I do have a serious case of the lack of self confidence.
To ZuL, ChAcK and SYaH...I'm one the kinds guy who would get to know juz 'bout everythin' of anythin' dat I like... But they're puzzled of why I'm not doin' the same thing when it comes to the girls I like...or juz girls as a whole. I know 'bout a car's specifications more than I know 'bout girls...
They told me dat in order for me to straighten up my life a bit...I gotta start searchin' for 'the one'. They say dat behind every great man...there's a great woman. Well, at least for now...I have My BRoTHeRs wit me. Dat's a start......
Well, I guess dat I'll be out...for now...
p/s - thanks for the people who left a comment on my previous posts. Nice to meet you too and yes, I'm fine...well, sort of... Hehehe