Am I sick?... Well, maybe I am...to some. To others...maybe I'm just fine.
Have you ever get the feelin' that you juz wanna grab sumone by the throat and squeeze the life out of him/her? I know I have... Lookin' straight into their eyes, seein' the pain that their in and enjoy it. Then smash your fist repeatedly on the face until they bleed from their nose, eyes and mouth. Listenin' to them begging for you to stop, but that actually makes you wanna hit them harder...juz cuz the voice annoys the shit out of you...
I've felt dat one too many times... And I dun like it...not one bit... Well, the smashin' part is good...nothin' feels better than to beat the living hell out of somebody... But not gettin' to do it, is a different thing altogether. Havin' to hold everythin' back juz cuz you care for the well-bein' of other... I mean, you definately dun wanna hurt the people you care 'bout...rite?
I'm actually juz fuckin' frustrated...dat's it... I dun use the F-word on a regular basis...so, if I've started using it...dat would mean either I'm very-very angry or I'm frustrated. Dis is one example...
On a nother note... I juz realized dat I have a Facebook account... It seems dat I've accidentally created a Facebook account 'bout 3 years ago... Hmmm...uh, well...might as well use it... Even if I dun put my pics in it... Never liked the idea of takin' my pics...
Got a lot of heat from my aunts this week... Simply cuz I walked home from the office. I dun have my car with me this past week...my sister used it to go back to our parent's house. I was using my cousin sister's car for a couple of daysbefore her mum, my first aunt...wants me to return the car. The reason being...well, apparently...her neighbour wants to borrow it for their trip to Ipoh!!! Nice, huh? Dat made my other aunts furious and when they know dat I have to walk home...it got worse la...
They told me dun ever do dat again as long as they are still alive... They said dat they dun care if my uncles or other aunts dun care or anythin'...but as long as they are alive, I have to know dat I have them... Yeah, ok...ok....I'm an adult now...not 8 anymore... But it does feels good, though... Anyway...they didn't know 'bout all of dis untill my mum told them 'bout it... Hehehe... See? Dat's why I prefer to keep things to myself and dun tell anybody 'bout...almost everythin'...
I always wondered why do people juz love to be...blind. Juz blind... Why do they refuse to see the real thing. Why do they love to be blinded by the things dat is obviously and ridiculously...a lie!!! Why do they love to be blinded by shiny things and money and other shits like dat. Why do they only look at materials rather than use their common sense and think before they start doin' somethin' really, really stupid... And I have no idea why the hell do they care, or too overly concern of what others might think 'bout them or the world 'round them... The other thing dat I dun understand is why do people keep stickin' their nose where they're not suppose too?!?! Mind your own fuckin' business, will ya!?!?
Dun juz look with your eyes...use your heart... There's a reason why we have it inside...to look for somethin' that is inside...
WaLK HaRD...WaLK TaLL...n USe YoUR HeART...
2 WeeKS oF... a LoT oF THiNGs...
I haven't had much time to update the blog nowadays... Too caught up in my work... A lot of stuff to do and not much time to do it. However, I can sense dat I'm gettin' a bit slow in deliverin' the task at hand accordin' to the timeline. Even my boss said the same damn thing. I hate it... Not cuz my boss said I was gettin' slow... I juz hated myself for gettin' slow. My boss is juz doin' his job and wanna help. He's got good intention and I dun mind...not one bit......
Quite a few things happened this past couple of weeks... The last time I updated this page is when I was kinda pissed. At who or what? Well, I think it's better for me to keep it to myself... Let's juz say dat the last thing dat the world wanna see is me in my 'Berserker Barrage' mode, ok...
Finally got a chance to meet up wit SiTa last weekend... The last time I saw her was 'bout a couple of months ago. She has a lot to share... And she gave me an original Royal Malaysian Air Force pilot jacket. Nice...... It was from a frend of her whom I met a few months back. He was a very nice person too... Now I juz need a pair of Aviator sunglasses to go wit it. Hahaha...
Apart from that...well, I would say last 2 weekend was a lot of fun for me... I got my salary and went shopping for some stuff. Mainly T-shirts, shoes and most importantly Transformers... Bought myself a couple more of it. The twins...Skids and Mudflap... Hehehe... Maybe I'll upload the picture a bit later... Also, finally after nearly 3 years using the same ol' phone...I bought a new one... It was another Nokia... To me, they have the best user-interface and it's very user-friendly... 2 main reasons for me buyin' it...apart from the Bluetooth capability, Wi-Fi, USB transfer mode, GPRS, MP3 player, Sliding QWERTY keyboard (yup, got dat too!!!) and the Camera, etc... Hehehe.
Last week was another fun weekend for me. A couple of months ago I went for King Shah's of Metalasia wedding... He's one of ZuL's fren... And, last week...ZuL n Me went to King Shah's house in PJ. It was kinda like a little re-union session of the team. Ritz and Sam was there too. So was the Singaporean band, Metalpura. Metalasia is comin' out wit kinda a re-release of their first album, Khalifah Alam Maya back in 1999 (which was a big hit in the rock n metal scene all over the world like in Korea, Maldives, Greece etc). They'll be using the original line-up consistin' of King Shah and Ritz on guitars (no leads here...just 2 nicely tuned and sync-ed guitar shreddin' together), CD Naz on vocal, Iwan Brakar on bass duty and Sam Maya smashin' the drum set like nobody's business.
There'll be a tour, scheduled in May 2010. And guess what!!! They'll be performin' alongside Helloween and Loudness!!! Yeup...you heard me...they're comin' down...That's great... The other good news is... METALLICA IS COMIN' DOWN TO MALAYSIA!!!!!! No joke!!! Woohooo!!!!!! Anyway, we were at King Shah's place until about 3 in the mornin'...chillin' out and even got a chance to see them shreddin' and smashin'... Hehehe.
Ok...ok... Dat's enuff for now...
DeADMAN will return......
p/s By the way...there will be another session next week. Hehehe *wink
THinKiN' n ReAcTiN'
Hmmmm...it was a pretty hectic week for me.
Sumthin' came up...and it wasn't all dat pretty. I'm not gonna blame anybody for wutever dat has happened. To me, let it be a reminder to myself and the people who was involved in it to be a bit more careful wit wut you do and wut you know... It has also reminded me to my D.T.A attitude I had back then. D.T.A means Don't Trust Anybody...
I remembered sumone once told me dat... The only way to shut a GOD's creation called humans up is by rippin' their vocal chords out of their throats. But even dat might not work...cuz humans, as well all know too well...is very resourceful. They can still write, rite? So the best way...in my opinion is to juz simply terminate them. Well, it might sound a bit threatenin'...when you think 'bout it, huh? Hey, this is the Internet...I can write wutever dat I want in here. And I wouldn't call dat a threat...more like a strong suggestion......*wink
It's a good thing dat I'm the kind of person dat's always open for discussion...and I'm not the type dat would make any desicion without thinkin' it thoroughly. I dun like to jump into conclusion...never did and never will. Unless my instinct kicks into overdrive and I have to make a split-second-type desicions...
Damn...I got soooo many things to say here, I dun even know where to start... But one thing's for sure...I dun give a shit wut people think 'bout me. Wutever things dat I do...I do it for a reason.
DeADMAN's out...for now...
SaD + HaPPy = LiFe Pt. 2
I got a kinda bad news the other day... My cousin...my cousin dat is 6 days younger than me (no joke!!!) is diagnosed with a small hole in her heart... Noooo, it's not a hole left by a guy leavin' her or anythin'... This is serious... And now the doctor found out dat there's a blood clot in her lungs. I was surprised...very surprised. As a matter of fact, I was caught off-guard. I wasn't expectin' dat to happen to her. Nobody did... Hmmm...talk 'bout expectin' the unexpected, huh......
Uh, by the way...I bought the Metallica shirt last week... Hahaha... Off-topic, dun you think so... Well my brain is like a TV remote control. I can change the channel anytime...anywhere to any station dat I want to... Ask the BRoTHeRS...they know...
I finally got a chance to finish the compilation CD for J.N a couple of weeks ago... I put some slow rock songs for her. I'm tryin' to teach her to listen to the slow rock songs now... Hey, she have been listenin' to the same CD for quite sometime now... So, it's 'bout time for her to start to listen to some new songs for a change... It's kinda like the life itself... There will be the time when we're juz sick and tired of doin' the same shit over and over again... And there will come a time for us to do somethin' different just to spice up our lives a 'lil bit, rite!!! And to my surprise...she likes the same song dat I like... Yup, Metallica's Nothing Else Matters...
Then, there was the weekend. It was quite a fun weekend for me... I went out wit J.N on Friday. Bought a couple of nice clothes for her...I picked one and the other one was her choice... Surveyed a few things dat we plan to buy at the end of the month and then we went out for a meal. Hehehe...it was fun hanggin' out wit her. Later dat nite, I went out wit the BRoTHeRS and finally came home at around 1.30 in the mornin'... I'm so damn tired...but we still have time to play the PS2 for another couple of hours before I went to bed at 4 am!!! They continued playin' until about 5 or so, then they
went to sleep...
I went out again on Saturday nite to The Curve...and bought myself a Buster Optimus Prime!!!Woohooo!!! When I got back home, I was so FReAKISHLY happy. When I opened the box and started to work wit the toy, the BRoTHeRs looked at me and said that they haven't seen such pure honest joy in my face for a very long time... I juz smiled back at them...
Hehehe... Then, on Sunday...I went out again...wit them and bought a Bumblebee!!! Now, the set is nearly completed... I juz need to get Skids, Mudflap, Arcee Twins and maybe Jolt. Then, I'm done...hopefully...... Hahaha...
Uh, yeah... One of the things dat Me and J.N surveyed was figurines... I plan to buy one for her...but of course, she got to choose wich one she wants... Hehehe...
PIeCeS...oF Me...
Make me
Into the one you want, into the one you need you bend and
Break me
You watch me separate myself from who I really am
To fit into your plan
Take it
Whatever's left is only following routine and
Fake it
And give in to the thoughts that being bought is what I am
To fit into your plan
The wheels they turn for you, a deity for two.
Holding on it's true, won't bring it back again.
They way you look my friend it's closer to the end.
I'm holding out a hand to bring it back again.
You cut me up again, cut down
You cut me down
You're cutting me in two
And ripping me in three
You're killing with those words you say to me
Tearing me in two
And ripping me in three
How many pieces can you take from me
LiFe GOeS oN...I GUeSS......
Well, nothin' much happened this past couple of weekends... Watchin' TV all day long and I didn't realize it was 4 in the mornin'... The BrOTHeRS were here the other day...so dat was a bit different from the other weekend. I was plannin' to get some stuff the other day...well, I got some of it... Dat's good enuff for now. There's always tomorrow, rite...
Talkin' 'bout my BrOTHeRs...ChAcK is one hell of a PS addict... ZuL on the other hand, well...he'll try almost everythin'. But what I and ZuL agree on is dat we juz enjoy watchin' ChAcK kickin' ass in those games. We would built our own set of cars...and let ChAcK race it in Need For Speed. We created our own character in SmackDown! vs RAW and leave the rest to ChAcK. But seriously, ChAcK is crazy 'bout games... He would stay up all night just to finish the game or spend the whole night exploring it. I've seen it before and trust me when I say sumtimes I wonder how he can stay up all night and go to work the next day without missing a beat. Even I have to at least have a couple of hours of good sleep juz to rest my brain a bit.
Hmmm...our sets of cars... I juz remembered sumthin'!!! Eleanor... Uh, trust me when I say dat it has absolutely nuthin' to do wit a girl...seriously...... It's juz the name... If you've read my blog before...you'll know who she is... Hehehe
I got a post for a fren and by a fren...but I gotta put it on hold first. Come to think 'bout it, it's not the first time either. It would be the 2nd time I have to put a post on hold juz cuz it would affect a few people.
I was wit another fren the other day, SYaH... Went to uptown to get a few things for him. The normal guy stuff like t-shirts, casual shoes etc... Uh, yeah...and I bought a new Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt... Was thinkin' to get a Metallica t-shirt but I didn't bring enuff money. So, I'll settle for one...for now... Hehehe. Then after dat we went for a drink at the mamal stall juz 'round the corner. We were were enjoyin' the drinks, watchin' the wutever movie it was showing on the projector screen and I was answerin' some sms from another fren of mine.
And all of a sudden, he looked at me and said..."Bro, would you juz stop it? You need to stop doing' dis, man...". I was confused and I looked back at him wit a "What?...What the hell was dat about?"... Well, we laughed and I asked him again of what the hell was dat all about. Well, then he told me to stop being too nice to everybody... Hmmm...dat's all to sudden...dun you think so?!?!?! Yeah, even I was confused...
When I come to think 'bout it, he's right. I've been nice to a lot of people and most of the time...too nice. Maybe dat's juz me. But hey, I can be a mean and sadistic person too...not to mention heartless and cruel... But I haven't shown dat dark side of mine for a very long time, now. There's no reason for me to do so...
To tell the truth, he was actually worried 'bout me... Well dude, dat makes the three of you. ZuL n ChAcK is worried as well. They're worried cuz I'm gettin' older by the day but still, I'm all alone... Wit no one to call as a girlfren and all. Hahaha... It sounds a bit ridiculous and also make sense at the same time... They've known me for quite a while now...and trust me when I say dat they sure as hell know what they're talkin' 'bout...
When it comes to things like dis...I dun really know what to say 'bout it. The toughest desicion to make is when it involves the heart, feelings. It involves hopes, determination, sincerity and honesty... A desicion 'bout relationship. To be honest, I'm not a least bit scared of makin' up my mind in bein' committed to sumbody...seriously. It's juz dat I'm too damn scared of ever makin' the first move.
I believed dat I've mentioned it before in here dat I'm not afraid to do most everythin' dat anybody could throw at me...but when it comes to girls...... I would be the first to back down. I'll juz disappear in the crowd. I hate to admit it but I do have a serious case of the lack of self confidence.
To ZuL, ChAcK and SYaH...I'm one the kinds guy who would get to know juz 'bout everythin' of anythin' dat I like... But they're puzzled of why I'm not doin' the same thing when it comes to the girls I like...or juz girls as a whole. I know 'bout a car's specifications more than I know 'bout girls...
They told me dat in order for me to straighten up my life a bit...I gotta start searchin' for 'the one'. They say dat behind every great man...there's a great woman. Well, at least for now...I have My BRoTHeRs wit me. Dat's a start......
Well, I guess dat I'll be out...for now...
p/s - thanks for the people who left a comment on my previous posts. Nice to meet you too and yes, I'm fine...well, sort of... Hehehe
Hmmm...A PaRTiNG WiTh THe OLd 'N' A MeeTiNG WiTh A NeW ONe...
I can't believe it...but it's the dawn of another new year...
Thinkin'...thinkin'...... Still thinkin'......... The neurons are shooting electrical impulses throughout the body at the speed of light and the brain cells are workin' hard rite now...
Yes...No...Definately, maybe...... Pros... Cons... Could have... Should have... Would have......
Brain startin' to hurt a lil' bit...but not yet meltin'...... Heavy Rock songs in the background. Metallica, Alterbridge, Hammerfall, Nightwish, Angra, Slipknot, Korn, Endeverafter, Amaran, Sevendust, Dark New Day, Not Forgotten, Limp Bizkit, Slayer, Linkin' Park, Kid Rock, Disturbed, Metalasia, Saliva, Rage Against The Machine, Apocalyptica, Seether, Sepultura, Venom, Nickelback, Divide The Day, Search, DragonForce, The Art of Dying, Led Zeppelin, Papa Roach, Avenged Sevenfold, Wings, Marilyn Manson, Our Lady Peace, Pantera, Drowning Pool, Scorpions, Motorhead, Foo Fighters, Deep Purple, Manowar, The Children of Bodom, Velvet Revolver, System Of A Down and Evanesence keeps repeating itself...over and over again......
To some people the music will only helps in the meltdown of their puny brains...and mess everythin' up... But not to me...... To me, it's an orchestrated chaos...beautifully disastrous. Hahaha...
By the way...I'm still thinkin'...... I...still...function...
And then I realized sumthin'... Ice-creams!!! I need sum ice-creams...dat'll help. I dun want my brain to overheats itself...need a BrAiN FReeZe!!!
Hmmm...dat was anti-climatic, dun you think so? Hahahahahahaha...
Uh, c'mon people... You can't be serious 24/7, rite?!?! Sumtimes you juz need to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Take a few steps back and look at the big picture... Trust me, it'll help...a lot.
HAPPY NeW YeAR to ALL!!! May the first light of the sun in the new year spells the beginning of your joy dat would last for the whole of 2010... GOD bless all of you...whoever and wutever you are......
We may want a beautiful flower but God would give us a thorny cactus. We wanted a beautiful butterfly but then God gave us a hairy caterpillar... And then, we wonder why we never got what we've wished for. But, think again...think deep and think hard. From the cactus, we will get our beautiful red flower and from the hairy caterpillar, we'll get our colourful butterfly.
God works in mysterious ways. He gave us what we need...not what we want...... 'Cuz sumtimes, wut we want isn't really what we need......
As for me... It's ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will. Five percent pleasure...fifty percent pain. And a hundred percent reason to remember the name. ReMeMBeR Me...BLOOD SWeAT 'n' TeARS...
A lot of things happened in 2009... A lot of things dat I've learned in 2009... So, 2010...here I come......
I've seen better days
So says the mirror
It's hard to find divinity when you're the king of men
It could be much worse
But the call is close
Tomorrow's my reason for today to let go
If I can get through this
I can get through that
If you cut me wide open
I can cut you some slack
If you come when I'm leaving
I might never be back
I know it's not easy
Just a matter of fact
If I can get through this
I can get through anything
If I can make it through this
I can get through anything
I promise you
Will I make it through? Hmmm...we'll see......
DeADMAN out...and I will return......
AwAY FrOM THe SuN
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done
I miss the life
I miss the colors of the world
Can anyone tell where I am
I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone. There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I've known
It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't tell what I've done
And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
HaPpY + AnGrY = YoU, Me n eVeRYBoDy eLSe...
Hmmm...where do I start... Let's share a few things dat would make happy and thing's dat would juz piss me off in a few seconds, shall we...
Well, for starters, the first thing dat would make me happy is the well being of my beloved parents. They are everythin' for me. Hmmm...I think the proper thing to say is my whole family, rite? Plain and simple... Well, I guess most of the people out there will say the same thing too. Yeah...it's a bit cliché dun you think so?
The next thing is, obviously...my Transformers toys collection. I know it's not much, but hey...at least I dare say dat I earn every single one of it. I bought each one of it wit my hard earned monthly salary. I never got a chance to have any of it when I was a kid...so, when I got my own money I go out and bought some to make myself happy. And in the process make sure dat the kid in me is still lives!!! Some people might say..."Grow up dude!!! Get a life, will ya!!!" But, who cares... As long as I dun bother anybody's FReAKIN' life, dat's good enuff... Hahaha...
However, there's one thing dat could make he happy and angry all at the same time... And they are...the frenz dat I have. Yup, they are the ones dat could make you or break you into pieces... They are the one who could share your happiness or sorrow. They are also the one who could stab you in the back at any moment given. So, choose carefully who your frenz are...
I once told a fren dat, we can't share everythin' wit everybody. I know cuz, I've been in dat situation before... Telling people your deepest, darkest secret can bite you back in the ass. People did dat to me... Well, I have to admit dat it was my fault too. Who the hell asked me to tell everythin' to them?!?!?! Yeah, ok...I know... My bad judgment call. Fineee... Stop rubbin' salt to the wound, ok... Hahaha.
But the worst is when they lie to me... I hate it cuz, I won't lie to them. I would never do dat...unless if I have too. I always have a good reason to do the things I do. Maybe it would not sound good to others, but I can't satisfy everybody...can I? But come to think 'bout it...9 times out of 10... I don't lie. Really, what's the point in lying, anyway?!?!
Nobody's perfect, remember. Being old doesn't necessarily make you a wiser person. Even Einstein regretted when he created TNT...
But seriously, the same thing dat could me happy...can also make me angry. I believe the same goes to everybody else... "How?" some might ask... Well, all of you have your own set of brains...rite? So, go figure... Hehehe
Dat's all for now...
THe DeADMAN will return......
FuN FoR THE TeAM...
It was fun...it really was... We were separated in to 5 teams and each team had about 4 to 5 team members. There were 3 sets of quizzes that we need to complete and overall...my team was in the 2nd place. Uh, well...it's good for a bunch of wacky people!!!
So, when it was the time for the gift exchange to start...we were still needed to answer a question before we can get the present... Well, for the unlucky ones...dat is... And guess what......I was in dat group. Hahaha. My question was 'When is Boxing Day?'. Seriously I dun know... And my big boss said, 'It's the day you go boxing la...'. Well, I said... 'I box everyday!!!' Hahaha... But, hey... I do......wit my door.
Ok, so after dat I got my present. It was funny... The same person who jokingly said if any of us dun have any wrapping paper, we can use the burger wrapping paper that we can get from the burger stall actually did it!!! He a.k.a my Team Lead actually wrapped the gift in a burger wrapping paper!!! And guess what...I got the gift.... Hahaha
As for me...I'd wrapped 2 of my MISP Hot Wheels car collection and juz put it in the gift pile... And my boss was the one who drew the number of my stuff. It was a 2010 Shelby Mustang GT500 and a 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8. I was like really...really hoping dat she would get it...cuz she likes cars too!!! My wished had come true...hehehe
Dis might be a bit odd as I'm not the kind of person who really like to post pictures in my blog but here's some of it... Hope dat we still have a chance to do this again, people!!!
Here's the gift pile!!!
See!!! A FReAKIN burger wrapper!!!
The whole team... So happy...after the meal, of course...
Look!!! That's the burger I was talkin' 'bout... I'm not lying, am I!!!
UnTiLL iT SLeePs?!?!?! UnTiLL I'm GoNe...
Well, another boring weekend for me... Hmmm...gotta do somethin' 'bout dis. Do I need to get myself a girlfren or sumthin'? Hah, like dat's gonna ever happen in a million years!!! Yeah, ok...enuff 'bout me feelin' pathethic. Fineee... Let's talk 'bout sumthin' else, shall we?
Hmmm...I've talked 'bout my job, cars, Transformers, musics and......somehow, I've have no idea of what else I'm suppose to write in here. Hahaha... Damnnn, my life's boring... But my dreams aren't so empty, as my conscience seems to be.
Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side
So tear me open and pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps
Just like the curse just like the stray
You feed once now it stays
Now it stays
So tear me open but beware
There's things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me until I'm clean
It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you so hold me
So tell me why you've chosen me
Don't want your grip, don't want your greed
Don't want it
I'll tear me open make you gone
No more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me
So hold me, until it sleeps
It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you, holds you, holds you
I'll tear me open make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shames me
So hold me
Until it sleeps
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called 'the PReSeNT'.
THe ASHeS of SiN...
Mistakes I've made
There's no turning back the clock
This road is cleared
Stashes all my secret thoughts
Desire sways
Raise a hand inside my heart
This masquerade has turned me into what I'm not
I'm on my way
To sacrifice for a new start
I'll take the blame
For the turn of broken hearts
This taste for shame
Has got my twisted into knots
This masquerade, a moving train that I can't stop
From ashes to ashes
Look at the burning masses
Beautifully disastrous
From ashes to ashes
Look at the burning masses
Beautifully disastrous
From ashes of sin
I come alive
From ashes of sin
I rise
SoMeThiN' iS DoNe...SoMeThiNG eLSe iS oN It'S WaY
Hmmm...guess wut... When my cousin sister picked me up at the train station, I juz realized dat I had left both my house and my car keys at my parent's place... Nice. huh... Yup, of all the time...it gotta happen at dat time and of all the people in the world...it happened to me... Oh, crap......
Well, the good news is the car is finally fixed... Not painted yet, but fixed... Dat's good enuff for now. I think I'll re-paint it next year, which is not dat far from now... Plannin' to do it at the end of January next year. We'll see...as always...
I've not been in a pretty good mood since last Wednesday... Got this firery urge to beat the shit out of somebody... I dun know why...but I juz wanna beat somebody up... I almost forgot how good it felt to beat somebody up... I wonder if I would still have so much fun as I used to. Well, maybe I'm juz too old for dat now... If I was the same person a few years back...maybe dat somebody would rather kill himself... Hmmmm...... Dat was then...this, is now. But dat doesn't mean I would hesitate to flip. Gimme 2 seconds and you'll see a different side of me...
But, it's good to know dat I've stopped doin' stuff like dat for quite a while now... So you dun have to worry...well, unless you do sumthin' stupid dat is...
A friend asked me to write somethin' about hope... Well, this is what I gave her...
Hope is somethin' dangerous when you don't know how to give up... Hope is somethin' that will wrap you around your neck in a noose and it'll drop you down...Hangin'... When you don't know how to stop... So, stop...before it becomes too late... Hmmm...just a thought...
And then she just realized dat I was serious... Well, I am.........
Goin' HoMe...FoR a ReST
'THe DaY' came and it drifted away like the clouds...and not many people know 'bout it... Good, juz the way I like it. But for those who remembered... Thanks...
The car is still in a mess...I dun have the time to repair it yet. Well, not to mention 'bout the means of me payin' for the repairs... I am soooo screwed up, man... Hahahaha...
Went back to my parent's house for Eid Ul Adha. One of the good thing was I got to download a whole bunch of songs...both new and some past hits... Hehehe... The bad thing was... I need to go back by myself...boardin' a train!!! My sister got some exam dat she needs to attend to...so, dat's why I'm goin' back alone... She got the other car wit her, and I was not drivin' dis time...
I was downloadin' those songs to make up a new compilation CD. The ones I have rite now is a bit old...and I've been listenin' to it for the past a couple of months or so. Hehehe... Definately need a new one. But dis time, it's a bit different as I'm thinkin' to make a compilation of rock ballads and some slow rock songs... But again, who am I kiddin'. Obviously there will be some brain splatterin' rock song dat will be included in the CD. Songs by EndEverAfter, Drowning Pool, Nickelback, Slipknot and stuff like dat. Well, I like dat kind of music...
So this will mark the first time I ever board a train... Pretty lame, huh... Uh well, who cares... I've been in a car, bus, lorry, boats, airplane and now, train... So the cycle is complete, I guess. Hahaha. I'm even writin' this post in the train itself. Not a smooth ride all the way, kinda like the way you would feel in a bus but slightly quieter. Except when the coach-connectin' door is opened. Then the noise of the engine would be a bit annoyin' but you'll get used to it. Hehe. The earphones really helped. Not to mention the 243 songs dat I have in my playlist!!!
My mum told me dat a fren of mine is also in the same train as me. But I dun know she's sittin' in which coach. Maybe I'll look for her later. Maybe not... Depends on my mood. Hehehe.
I got a whole bunch of things dat I need to do when I get back home. Not to mention the things in the offfice...which is a good thing for me. I'm occupied wit the work dat I need to do so I won't be bothering anybody, anytime soon.
Well, dat's it for now... DeADMAN out... but I will return...
NoT AGaIN!!!!!!
Hmmm...guess what... I think i know why I feelin' down this past week. Sumthin' happenned...
I was involved in an accident...AGAIN!!! Yup, it was a couple of days ago... So, this would be my 6th accident. In a month dat should be my happiest month of the year!!!
Life's GReAT, ain't it!!! There's always somethin' good that would come after this.
A Th0uSaND MILe WiSh
Someone once told me..."He who makes a beast out of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man." I'm not sure if he meant it literally or it's juz a metafore...
Yeah, like dat's gonna happen anytime soon. Humans and emotions are inseparable. But dat doesn't mean dat all humans have the same level of emotions in them... Hmm...how I wish dat a certain human would feel the same as I do and really understand 'it'...
But again, it's juz a thousand mile wish...
Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry
This time alone could never cause any doubt
But I’ve been cold too long
Such a strange time to find myself coming down as the rain
With all these holes my love
To fill up from the middle
This storm could stay all night
So can you stay until we close our eyes
Til your dreams hold mine
Just stay until we know we tried one more time
Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons
And they’ll go on and they won’t let go
They saw something that they know
Has never come so close
Can it stay here for us, for now?
Can it stay until we know ourselves?
I’m torn as I tell
You’re the story that I know and fell from
I’m so far into your story I don’t know why
We think we’re in control
When we lie between the lines
We’ll find a line to follow
It’s got to show real soon
Or we’ll never reach this high
We climb a little further
Cause there’s nothing we can’t get around together
Further gets colder until nothing was all that I saw around
So we stay until the ground
That we can’t come down from splits us away
Maybe stars know why we fall
I just wish they were thinking out loud
Oh, I could wish all night
DeADMAN out...
p/s - HEY!!! I'M SUPPOSe TO Be FReAKISHLY HAPPY NOW. IT'S NOVeMBeR!!! IT'S MY FReAKIN' MONTH!!! But, why am I so down?!?!?! Is sumthin' botherin' me? Hmmm...I dun know...probably there is sumthin'... Would I ever tell it to anybody? Definately...maybe...... I'll be back...in a better state of mind, I hope... SOON...
HeLPIN' OuT and GeTTIN' SOMe HeLP iN ReTUrN...
Hmmm...how am I suppose to explain dis to people... Some of 'em said to me dat, I dun have to justify to anybody...but some said dat I need to make 'em understand the situation dat I'm in... Choices and Consequences... Pros and Cons... Yin and Yang... LIFe and DeATH...
Well, let's forget that for now, shall we?
All is fine at the office rite now... I'm havin' fun learnin' new things everyday...well, more like refreshin' the information in my head for my task at the office.... Hehehe...
I have dis fren at the office dat wants to learn English from me...and I said, 'Why not...' Well, it's not dat I'm good at it anyway but it does help me to be better at it. It helped me to expand my vocabulary as well...so, again 'Why not...' It's a win-win situation. I'm helpin' her and at the same time, I'm helpin' myself too... She sumtimes can't believe wit the sentences dat I came up wit and kept askin' me if I can teach her more... She kept askin' me wut kind of books I read... Well, hate to break it to you, girl...but I dun read dat much... However, I did spend 'bout a week readin' the Oxford dictionary. Seriously I dun read dat much... I only buy 1 magazine every month and dat's 'Top Gear'. Won't help you dat much unless of course if you're nuts 'bout cars like me...
Come to think 'bout it, I dun really have a lot of words diversity. Juz look at how I write my blog here... It's juz simple straight-forward English wit sum crazy spellin' errors. Hey, I did dat on purpose, ok... I learnt English by watchin' TV, regardless of the programmes. Movies, documentaries, sports and most importantly, cartoons!!! And the constant weekly trips to my dad's office when I was a kid does help... Well, my dad dun speak in English at home but he does so at the office. My dad's officemates even spoke to me in English. So, in order to understand wut the hell the people in my dad's office was talkin' about...I have to learn English... But one programme dat helped me a lot when it comes to understandin' the language and the correct pronunciation was WWE's Raw and SmackDown, believe it or not. Listenin' to all those wrestlers talkin' in the middle of the ring and the commentators callin' the match helped me a lot.
And then, when I worked wit HP we have dis English class specifically for us as we're dealin' wit American customers...and it helped to... Helped me to better understand the language and the neutral slang of it. In a way, you can consider me as lucky. I may not have a degree in anythin' but hey, I sure can speak better English than most of the people out there... Listenin' to the some of the people on TV speakin' English sumtimes made me wanna puke...especially those stupid wannabes.... It made me laugh too... Hahaha. But, like I said before...I may not speak perfect English but I can definately speak better than them. Uh, well...come to think 'bout it...... Nobody's perfect, rite? So I guess we juz have to live wit it, huh?
Dat's all for now... I have a bunch of slides dat needs to be re-worked... Got some trainin' to conduct dis week... Need to get some inspiration... Hmmm...EndEverAfter's From The Ashes of Sin should help... Rock on!!!
DeADMAN out...for now......
THe OrIGiNaL DeADMAN...
Another week went by...as always... I wrote the previous blog entry 'bout a couple of weeks ago but never got the chance to publish it. Hey, I was busy wit my work, ok...so cut me some slack, will ya...
I got a few open house invitation this week but I'm not sure if I'll go to any one of 'em. I juz feel like sitting' at home, watchin' TV and cleanin' the house. Weird...but dat's juz wut I'm feelin' now. My mum is here anyway...so, go figure.
I was watchin' WWE's SmackDown last week and I was lucky enuff to see the return of The UNDeRTAKeR. It was sooo cooolll... He's back wit the same attire he wore back in the Ministry of Darkness days... Eventhough I like the black overcoat wit the cowboy hat, which look like an ol' western mortician...this is even better. Well, I know dat the one dat is showin' on TV now is like a couple of months late than the one currently but it was ok. As long as it has The UNDeRTAKeR in it...it's good enuff for me. He's my favourite wrestler everrr...... Hahaha...
And did you know, The UNDeRTAKeR made his debut in WWE (then WWF) at the exact same date as my birthday in 1990! The pay-per-view was called Survivor Series and is one of WWE's big pay-pay-view. The others are the Royal Rumble, held every January; Wrestlemania, held every March or early April and Summerslam, held every August. The Survivor Series is held every November, so dat would give you the answer on which month I first opened my eyes to see the world...but I was not born in 1990... I'm older than dat... Hehehe.
The UNDeRTAKeR's persona was the western mortician...a DeADMAN, impervious to pain (most of the time, everythin' too!!!) and the power comes from an urn carried by Paul Bearer, his manager... However, in the late 90's it evolved into a more sinister lookin' Lord of Darkness who answered to a 'Higher Power'... He began abductin' people and turnin' 'em into his disciples. He started showin' his new abilities like engulfin' the ring wit fire, creatin' lightnin' bolts at will, and appearin' & disappearin' out of nowhere... Wit his disciples, they formed The Ministry of Darkness. They soon joined forces wit The Corporation of Vince and Shane McMahon which in turn made them in The Corporate Ministry... This is when he appeared in one of his famous outfit dat he wore in the Unforgiven pay-per-view. To me, dat was one of the coolest outfit evvveeerrrr... Go ahead and 'goggle' it, will ya...
Soon after, due to injury...he went into rehab and 'TAKeR was not seen for 'bout a year or so... Now, this was a legitimate injury from all the matches he went through... Hey, he pionerred the Casket Match and Hell in the Cell to name a few... Ok, so he was out cuz of injuries for a while...and everybody thought they were safe and people nearly forget 'bout The Phenom dat has casts his shadow into a world dat is WWE... Untill......
At Judgment Day, The Rock and Triple H was battling for the WWF Championship in the Iron Man Match. Just to let you know, the Iron Man Match was originated by Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart. The rules are simple...each combatants will wretle each other for an hour non-stop and whoever scores the most pinfalls...wins the match. Now, in Judgment Day, the scores was at 4 a-piece. The Rock and Triple H has pinned each other 4 times and at one time, Triple H was leading 3-1... Everybody was at the edge of their seats when there's only 'bout a minute left on the clock when... a mysterious figure with long blonde hair wearing a black overcoat and a bandana emerged from the top of the stage. He then ran to the ring and started decimating the McMahon-Helmsley troops...including Triple H. When the camera focused on this figure...the world saw the familiar demonic eye of...THe UNDeRTAKeR!!! Unfortunately for The Rock, 'TAKeR's interference costs him the WWF title and due to it, Triple H was awarded an extra point at the very last second of the match and he retains the championship. I was actually jumpin' on my seat when I watched the pay-per-view on TV. 'TAKeR's backkk!!!
This was the incarnation of THe UNDeRTAKeR that was known as THe AMeRICAN BAD ASS. He opted the bad biker image with black or denim overcoats, and bandanas. He even rode on his own Titan bikes to the ring and after a while, he cut his hair short. Instead of the 'normal' Graveyard Symphony theme dat was previously used, the new theme was from Kid Rock entitled 'American Bad Ass' (hence the title given to this persona). The theme was later changed to Limp Bizkit's 'Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle Version). However the signature 'gong' introduction was still used. Up to 10 times and every time it tolled...the arena will be engulfed in total darkness which will be followed by the sound of his V-Twin engined Titan screamin' at the entrance ramp... Coooolllll...... This persona then evolved into 'Big Evil'. This is one of the few times dat he is actually labelled as 'heel' which is a wresling slang for bad guy. But somehow the fans are divided on whether to cheer for him or not... As the storyline develops...'TAKeR is once again a 'face' or a good guy in the wrestling slang and went on to wrestle Vince McMahon in a Buried Alive Match. One of the many matched that he pionerred. However, due to Kane's interference...'TAKeR lost the match and was buried alive by Kane...literally!!! And presumed dead...
Fast foward a few months later...at Royal Rumble. During the Royal Rumble Match which Kane was involved in, the arena went dark and a familiar sound of the 'gong' shocked the whole arena...and Kane especially... People was actually screamin', hoping dat 'he' would emerged. Even when 'he' didn't...it was enuff to distract Kane to be eliminated from the 30 men brawl. For the next couple of months, the darkenin' of the arena and the 'gong' sound haunted Kane up to a point he issue a challenge to the 'dead' UNDeRTAKeR to fight him at WrestleMania XX(20th anniversary of Wrestlemania). Kane vowed to make his brother, THe UNDeRTAKeR disappear forever from the WWE Universe. At WrestleMania...when it's time for Kane vs THe UNDeRTAKeR......smoke filled the arena, it was dark as the night with a purple hue, lightning bolt and thunder was everywhere and the laughter of Paul Bearer...then, toll of the 'gong' echoed throughout the entire arena. And there he was...THe DeADMAN, THe PHeNOM dat is THe UNDeRTAKeR wit Paul Bearer holding the urn in front of him. Ol' western cowboy hat, black overcoat and all... He is finally back!!! I watched it 'LIVE' on TV...I ordered the damn pay-per-view and it was friggin' worth it!!! Hairs were standin' at the back of my neck when I heard the first 'gong' echoed in Madison Square Garden... Hahahaha...
Since then, 'Taker has maintained his undefeated streak at WrestleMania. FYI, 'TAKeR's the only wrestler that is undefeated at WrestleMania (trust me when I say dat it'll stay dat way) and the current record is 17-0. Again, we fast forward to 'bout a few weeks ago when THe UNDeRTAKeR won his 3rd World Heavyweight Championship. He has held the WWE Championship on 4 different occasions and is recognized in WWE as a 7 time World Champion. As the current World Heavyweight Champion, he will again cast his dark shadow across the world dat is WWE Universe...(and imagine when you've finished reading dis, the toll of the 'gong' echoing all around you, complete wit the lightning and thunder... in surround sound!!!)
DeADMAN out...for now......
RaYa, FLu & FIRe!!!
I went back, again, to my parent's house last week for Eid Ul Fitr. Well, the expenses was covered by my mum...so, go figure... Hehehe. My sister and brother tagged along... I didn't apply for any extra leave days, cuz I've juz came back from a week long leave 'bout a couple of weeks ago. Well, I only applied for 4 days, but due to all the public holidays within dat week...my off days is stretched to a week... Heh, dat's wut I call 'Planning'...
We went shoppin', but obviously I didn't buy anythin'... Hey, I didn't get an advance, ok... But I think it's a good thing. If I did get an advance, I'll finished it in 'bout half an hour or so. Hehehe. I should get an extra thousand bucks or so in the end of the month, so its ok. Now dat is not countin' my salary... I'll get myself either a fridge or a washing machine. Or maybe a couple of Transformers...Hahaha.
And it's official...I'm the only Malay guy in the office, workin' after the Hari Raya... All the others took the whole week off.
I was not well a couple of days ago...took half day at the office and went to see the doctor. She only gave me MC for one day...and it's for the same day!!! I've already been in the office for the past 5 hours... Wut's the point of me gettin' the MC for the same day. She might as well gave me a friggin' time slip... She even asked me if I wanted the MC for the same day or the next...either one of 'em...but not both. Damnnn......
So when I went back to the office the next day, I was not really 'dat' well... And you know wut...they have to do a fire drill ON THE VERY SAME DAY!!! Of courseeeee...it only happens to meeee...... To make things worse...we're on the 14th Floor...and the staircase is friggin' small it doesn't even have a good ventilation... Err...how does it suppose to help again????
Oh, yeah...I need to see my 2 BrOtHeRs too... I have sumthin' in my mind rite now...
DeADMAN out...for now...